A Husband's Grief
By Theodore Johnson · Jan 01, 2017
My dream ever since I was about seventeen years old was to marry and start a family. I would think, “It would be great to see my mini-me running around.” At the age of twenty, I was blessed to marry my beautiful wife, and from the day we were joined in holy matrimony, I wanted to have a child. Anytime I would see little children, my heart would melt, and I prayed that one day God would bless us with a child.
The day my wife told me she was pregnant, all I could think of was “I’m going to be a dad!” I was so ecstatic that I didn’t know how to express myself. Six weeks later, my wife had abdominal pain, and we found out the tragic news that she had a miscarriage.
Family and friends who knew about the tragedy flocked around her to comfort her. I was happy people were there for her, but it seemed as if they forgot about me. I felt like I was trying to walk through this time all on my own. To have a baby with my wife was a dream that I prayed about consistently, and to see it not happen and then forgotten by others was very painful. But I knew the only One who could help and heal me and always will was God. I couldn’t lose my faith in Him.
People tend to view a miscarriage as an ordeal the woman goes through, and I agree she feels it more because she is the carrier of that life, but it hurts when people act as though it doesn’t affect the husband.
Our miscarriage was the greatest test of my faith so far. God kept me going by reminding me of Job. Even with the most painful loss of all his children, he was still able to say, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21) Job was a man just like us. He felt pain, agony, grief, and anger. He even cursed the very day he was born. He didn’t know why God allowed this to happen, but his trust was in God at all times.
I thought of David grieving for his son Absalom and Jacob grieving for Joseph, and realized that is how I felt also. Although I wondered how I would ever go on, I had to remember that God is still in control. I had to put my trust in God and work to keep my trust in Him. It was hard to take, but I still had reason to thank the Lord. For when no one else is there, He still is. When I feel forgotten, He still remembers me. When I feel rejected, He still accepts me.
Jesus said, “I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). The world is full of trouble, and there is no good to expect from it, but Jesus has overcome. I hope in Jesus, who for my sake, died for me. Jesus Christ became my peace. “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You” (Isaiah 26:3).
God is there for us. We don’t even realize it sometimes, but He is there. He is real, and He never leaves us.
Husbands, understand that your wife needs you. Be there for her. Wives, understand that your husband cares and is hurting also. Strengthen each other. Help each other. Understand that God is the only One who can bring you through any ordeal, great or small. He is the master of all struggles, and He will bring you through.
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