Member Spotlight: Rory and Becca Groves of Gather and Grow Ministries

Rory and Becca Groves have planted their family in a self-sustaining home economy and are teaching others how to do the same.

The Groves, who live in Northfield, Minnesota, grow their own food and raise their children as collaborators in the family economy. They also teach others through Gather & Grow Ministries, which provides workshops, fairs, and publications.

Family economy

Rory Groves was in software. He wasn’t planning on sustaining his family through farming, shepherding, and a ministry.

“I had been in high tech and managing a software firm,” said Rory. “The novelty of a constantly changing industry started to wane as I found myself always having to reinvent and relearn skills to stay relevant in the job market. I wanted to create a company that I could pass on to our children and that would remain relevant.”

In general, that means that mom and dad both work at home for a family business, whatever it may be, which is how it mostly was before industrialization. For the Groves, it means the family provides for themselves on their own land and works together to care for the household. It also means that Rory and Becca equip their children with life skills and a focus on God and family, then share what they’ve learned with others.

The adventure

It didn’t happen overnight for the Groves. They started their adventure in 2012 with no prior knowledge of farming and wondered if they had made the right decision. Then, their family weathered the COVID-19 shutdowns without breaking stride, so they knew they were headed in the right direction of providing for themselves through a more stable, self-sustaining household and home-based business.

“We raise a little bit of everything,” Rory said. “Our goal is self-sufficiency with our farm. We have not arrived yet, but we have certainly come quite a way.”

Even more important, though, they were drawing ever closer together as a family.

Where they’re at

Besides raising their own produce, the Groves raise a variety of animals now, including chickens, goats, sheep, honeybees, and the occasional hogs. Ivar, 14, manages the animals.

The key is participation and cooperation.

“As the children age into different seasons of ability, there are many ways they can plug in and be part of what we’re doing,” Rory said. “It’s not hard work, but it’s necessary work. One of the things we love about farming is it brings the family together. It develops a work ethic in children. They know what’s needed.”

The goal

The Groves try to be as self-sufficient as possible, but farming is just part of their family economy. They also write, publish, and host events and workshops. Their farming goal is to have enough food for their family. They can sell or share if they have more than they need.

However, the idea of a family economy, developed in Rory’s book The Family Economy: Discovering the Family as It was Designed to Work, isn’t restricted to farming. The latter is something, in fact, that people in different occupations used to do as a matter of course to put good food on the family table.

“Even pastors kept their own farms or gardens,” Rory said.

The path to a family economy that the Groves suggest is to find what family members are drawn to, have a passion for, and are skilled at, then put that all together.

The Family Economy, echoing Rory’s earlier book Durable Trades: Family-Centered Economies That Have Stood the Test of Time, offers a list the Groves assembled of the “25 Most Family-Centered Trades,” helping those feeling the nudge to see if one of their passions or talents could allow them to go this way.

Families should discover their talents and passions as early as they can and then make it an ongoing discovery, the Groves said.

“I always say it would be so neat if in premarital counseling, the couple got to sit down and say, ‘What are God’s reasons for bringing us together? Is there a way we could combine our gifts?’” Becca said, adding that approach would set couples up for success from the start of a marriage.

Family gifts inventory

One of the Groves’ most popular workshops is the family gifts inventory, which helps families discover the passions and talents that could help them find their business sweet spot.

“The whole family circles up,” Becca said. “Kids get to get in on it. ‘Dad, you really light up when you do this.’ You kind of look at each person and how they were created uniquely as assets to the whole. Our culture would say we’re so different, opposite in every way, and that it won’t work well, but God in His fullness says, ‘No, that’s how you’re made stronger.’”

Once a family knows its various abilities and passions, it can combine them into a vision for a business.

Being at home helps

Being at home as a matter of course also allows parents to be more available for their children to guide and encourage them throughout the day.

The Groves’ son Ivar, 14, is an example of how a family economy can train a child for the future. Besides working with animals, which is “definitely a possible career for me and my future family,” Ivar is drawn toward woodworking, including high-end furniture and household goods. He credits that to his father being around more than he would be with a job outside the home.

“My dad can get me on the right paths,” Ivar said. “With him being home and seeing our different gifts, he can point each of us in the right direction.”

Reality check

While the Groves would like to see as many families as possible go in this direction to make families more cohesive, they also acknowledge that it’s not always possible. But, they said, even small efforts count.

“Just start something no matter how small, but something that brings the family together,” Rory said. “The focus is not profitability, not at first. Focus on family unification. I believe God will bless that and He will grow that, and in time you will find yourself in a situation that can sustain a family.

“It takes several years to get a family economy up and running, but it’s something that is well worth the investment.

“Society didn’t get into the situation of divided families overnight,” Rory said, “and we’re not going to get out of it overnight, but I do believe (the family economy) is a very compelling answer for a lot of the challenges that families have today. But it has to start with one generation.”

The Groves’ free newsletter

Follow the Groves family’s efforts and insights by subscribing to their free print newsletter, The Grovestead.

How to pray

Here are prayer requests from the Groves family:

• “For hearts of the fathers to turn to their children (Malachi 4:6)”
• “For God to part the seas for families who want to work together”
• “For like-minded families to find each other so we’re not all going it alone”

Why SMI? It allows the Groves to pursue their family economy