When suffering glorifies God

Sometimes when the world would say that an illness or accident has rendered life not worth living is when it’s most worth living.

Say you’re 19 years old and you dive into water, suffer a spinal injury, and emerge paralyzed from the neck down.

“Everybody in the room says, ‘Gosh, I wouldn’t want to live like that,’” says Dr. Jack Bicket, a member of the Christian Medical and Dental Associations and a member of ethics committees at two North Carolina hospitals.

Joni Eareckson Tada had such an accident in 1967 at the age of 17, and in the 45 years since then has become an inspiration to thousands if not millions through her Christian ministries and other efforts.

Joni has testified through words and actions to the power of God made manifest through our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). By choosing life in the most dire circumstances, the popular, quadriplegic writer (46 books) and speaker also has become an accomplished painter, singer, and advocate for those with disabilities.

What she has done may never have been accomplished had she not chosen life.

It still isn’t easy to make the decision to continue with life, no matter what the circumstances, in drastic situations. But the most important thing we can take into consideration, Bicket says, is “What honors God?”

“It’s not uncommon, for example, for quadriplegics like Joni Eareckson Tada to go through a period of depression,” Bicket says. “You know, just the loss of function and so on. That’s true for other illnesses as well: ‘Gosh, I don’t want to have a heart that doesn’t allow me to get up and walk around because I get too short of breath.’

“But the issue ought to be for the Christian, ‘What honors God?’ There can be no debate that a life like Joni’s has honored God.”

Honoring God should be brought into what Bicket calls “the conversation” about what a person would want done in various medical situations that involve life support. That goes for both the one whose life is on the line and for the one making the decisions as medical power of attorney.

“It’s so human for us, so natural for us all to go, ‘Goodness, gracious, I’m the spokesman for Ma or Pa and I wouldn’t want to live like this,’ so there’s that tendency to say, ‘Well, yeah, let’s not follow through and treat her as aggressively as we could.’ That really shouldn’t be the answer. The question should be, ‘What honors God in this situation?’”

Being bedridden may not be what we want or what our family wants for us, but if it honors God and the alternative is death, we need to honor God.

“If being paralyzed is what honors God, that might be the most appropriate Christian response,” Bicket says.

And then there’s the opportunity to honor God if you’re the one taking care of the patient.

For instance, Bicket says, somebody could be mostly confined to bed but taking care of themselves reasonably well, maybe with a little bit of help. Then they have a stroke, but with proper medical care are able to be sent home.

“But now she’ll need around-the-clock care,” Bicket says. “Well, all the kids are working, all the kids’ spouses are working. Who’s going to take care of Grandma and her stroke?”

Families typically have two options:

• Take Grandma to the nursing home.
• Take Grandma into their home.

“We’re not too excited about taking her to the nursing home, but it may be a situation where that’s required,” Bicket says. “Or it may be required for one of the families to say, ‘You know, we’re going to have to cut back on the second car and the internet access and the cable TV because we’re going to have to take care of Ma.’

“It’s easier to say than to do. I’m not trying to put a guilt trip on people, but how honoring and what an example it would be for our kids if we did what we could to care for our parents or for an injured child or something like that. We could honor God by caring for that parent in ways that speak to the community, speak to our families, and that God is pleased with.”

Whether the person goes into a nursing home or not, prolonged end-of-life situations can also be good times to “work on some of the issues that one wants to have settled before that patient passes away,” Bicket says.

“The work of dying often gets compressed into hours, days, maybe weeks at most, and when you have someone who is in this situation, if they’re cognizant to be able to have some discussions, that’s a good opportunity.”

Related articles

Who makes the decision when the patient can’t? Power of attorney is important (samaritanministries.org)

Advance conversations help when applying advance directives (samaritanministries.org)