Loss & Light: Seeing the rainbow after two miscarriages

Samaritan Ministries honors the sanctity of life—not just this month, but every month. As part of that commitment, we are sharing a special series called Loss & Light. These stories feature members who have walked through the deep sorrow of losing an infant or child. In the midst of their grief, they have chosen to glorify Christ, allowing His light to shine through their suffering. This story is written in first-person by the mother.

“I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between Me and the earth.”

Genesis 9:13

My husband, Jonathan, and I have been members of Samaritan Ministries since 2021, joining shortly after we were married. We knew we wanted to have a family but wanted a little time to adjust to married life first. In early 2023, after prayer, we decided to start trying for a baby.

We were excited, and also nervous, about taking this step of faith. All the unknowns of parenthood can feel a little daunting, but we stepped through the fear and trusted God to meet us every step of the way.

And He met us in an incredible way.

In February 2023, I miscarried at six weeks pregnant. It was a devastating feeling, going from elation over the pregnancy to losing that precious life much too early. Grief doesn’t listen to reason. Loss is loss, and we felt it keenly.

After we lost the baby, I expressed to my husband that it felt like we were going through a breakup together­—not with each other, but with the dream of what would have been.

After waiting a couple of months, we decided to try again. We became pregnant in May 2023, but in July, we miscarried a second time at 8 weeks.

These two back-to-back miscarriages broke me. My faith, emotions, and physical being all felt beaten down with lies, disappointment, and discouragement. Anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and depression reared their ugly heads. I didn’t know how to handle the raw emotions beneath the grief I was experiencing.

Jonathan and I pressed into the Lord together during this time. I went to counseling for my emotional health, and we went to a reproductive specialist to make sure everything was right with our fertility health. Thankfully everything was, and they suggested progesterone supplementation for the next time we were to try for a baby.

We were crossing off all the major concerns, but I still wanted an extra touch from the Lord to know that He had us in His hands. He met this desire in such a personal way.

The week following our first miscarriage, a giant double rainbow appeared outside my parents’ house while I was visiting. It was the most magnificent rainbow I had ever witnessed, and it felt like a promise spoken right to my heart. I believe I heard the Lord whisper that we would have our “rainbow baby,” a term for a baby born after miscarriage.

In the months following our second miscarriage, we saw rainbows frequently: outside the car window; two tiny rainbows formed outside our living room window every afternoon; my ring reflected rainbows on my devotional book in the morning; and I was even awakened from deep sleep to images of vivid rainbows. Family and friends sent us pictures of rainbows they were seeing, too.

It got to the point where if I was having a rough day, I'd ask the Lord for a rainbow, and sure enough, I'd see one.

In February 2024, we found out we were pregnant for the third time. The emotional battles were still there, but so were the rainbows. We continued to have rainbow sightings at what seemed to be perfect times, such as after our baby’s first ultrasound, during which we saw the heartbeat.

The Lord continued to surprise us up to the moment when—at 22 weeks pregnant—we decided on our baby girl's name: Noa-Grace.

We were discussing our list of possible names during a car drive and had just landed on Noa-Grace when, as we drove the bridge over the bay, I looked up outside the window and gasped. A ginormous rainbow (with another forming above it) was towering over the water. The beauty and perfect timing moved us to laughter over God’s love.

Noa-Grace is our “double rainbow baby,” a term for a baby born after not one, but two miscarriages. For us, that term couldn’t be more true. Her name—"Noa" means movement and "Grace" means favor—embodies the movement of God’s favor we were humbled to witness.

Noa-Grace is a gift from God, and we never want to take a moment with her for granted. If you’re still waiting for your precious rainbow baby, know that the Lord can move heaven and earth to show you His perfect plan for you. You only need to ask Him and then look for the signs He sends.