Postpartum depression can be a serious medical condition

Hands shaking, she looked down at the test. Two pink lines stared back at her. Their prayers had been answered. She was going to be a mommy! The following months seemed to drag as the anticipation to meet this sweet baby grew.

Finally, the wait was over, and their baby arrived. She thought she was prepared for motherhood. After all, they had read the books, packed tiny clothes, and set up the nursery. But she wasn’t prepared for the wide variety of emotions that would assail her in the weeks after giving birth. Sure, she felt the joy and the wonder of meeting her son, but those emotions were quickly followed by unexplainable fear, and an overwhelming sadness and anxiety.

One month became two and she found herself hardly able to crawl out of bed. Tears were her constant companion and her emotions swung like a pendulum. The cry of her little one led to feelings of dread. “Is this it?” she whispered to herself on one particularly difficult morning. “Where is the motherhood I dreamed of? I thought I would love being a mom, and I am barely surviving.”

This is the messy reality of the postpartum period for many women. She isn’t a “bad mom.” It wasn’t “just baby blues.” It is a serious medical condition called postpartum depression (PPD).

Weariness or something more?

Bringing a newborn baby home is hard. Whether it’s your first or your sixth baby, this is a major life change. Feelings of exhaustion, weariness, and being overloaded can be expected. As our bodies heal and we bond with our baby, we are also juggling wildly fluctuating hormones, sleep deprivation, blood loss, breastfeeding, and the anxiety and pressure to do it all right. Each plays a key role in how well moms cope during the postpartum period.

Up to 70 percent of moms experience what is referred to as “baby blues.” The experience commonly includes mood swings, trouble sleeping, crying spells, and anxiety. The good news is that, as our hormones level out, the rollercoaster of emotions and exhaustion often subside, allowing for those feelings of well-being and joy to slowly return.

However, at least 1 in 10 women also experience a longer, more severe form of depression commonly known as postpartum depression, which can start during pregnancy or even up to a year after giving birth. It can affect how well a mother is bonding with her baby, along with many other areas of life including appetite and sleep. It is also characterized by severe mood swings, feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, and false guilt.

Heartbreaking scenarios occur when mothers take their own lives or the lives of their children due to postpartum depression. If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, reach out for help immediately. You can call Christians in Crisis at (844) 472-9687 for biblically based help. You are not alone. Navigating these symptoms is difficult and a journey all its own.

Causes of postpartum depression

Research states that there is no singular cause for postpartum depression, but several factors seem to be linked. A few of these factors are:

• the dramatic drop in the hormones progesterone and estrogen following birth;
• a history or family history of postpartum depression;
• sleep deprivation;
• and feeling overwhelmed due to the sudden life changes of bringing home a new baby.

However, research has clearly proven that postpartum depression is in no way the mother’s fault. We must think of PPD the same way as we think of a common cold. A cold comes from a virus or bacteria, resulting in symptoms such as cough, runny nose, fever, etc. No one chooses to have a cold! It happens because our bodies fight to kill off viruses and bacteria. In the same sense, your brain is feeling “a little under the weather,” and your body is responding to that in the form of symptoms. Instead of bacteria or a virus, hormonal fluctuations, lack of sleep, and overload are present. Instead of a cough and runny nose, you may feel anxiety and hopelessness. Just as a trip to the doctor is necessary when a cold progresses, a call to your health provider is necessary when your baby blues progress into postpartum depression.

Managing postpartum depression

If you are concerned that you may have postpartum depression, reach out to your health care provider. They want to know so they can help you. Your physician may have you talk with a mental health counselor, help you find a support group, and talk with you about the possibility of medications for depression, sleep, or anxiety. Your health care provider is your best resource. Voice your concerns and advocate for yourself and your baby throughout your process. Ultimately, you know what is best for you and your family.

In the meantime,

• Prioritize rest and sleep.
• Receive support from loved ones around you. If no one offers, ask for help when you need it.
• Be realistic about your expectations during this phase of life. Look for the little wins and celebrate them. Taking a shower is a little win, celebrate it!
• Get outside in the sunshine and move your body. Low-impact exercise helps balance hormones.
• Eat a balanced diet of lean proteins, healthy fats, complex carbohydrates, and whole foods to help stabilize hormones.
• Don’t isolate yourself. Talk to your husband, mom, sister, or friend and be honest about what you’re feeling. Ask other women about their experiences.

Remember, postpartum depression is never anyone’s fault. There is no shame in having it because it is not a spiritual crisis. It is a common medical condition that needs treatment.

How can dad help?

The first thing a dad can do to help is understand that this isn’t a problem he can fix. He cannot make her depression go away. She will need time to heal and recover both physically and emotionally. However, research has shown the best way he can help to improve her depression is consistently showing up and supporting her.

Speaking practically, this looks like holding her while she cries, lightening her workload when you can, encouraging her to talk honestly about how she feels, and, most importantly, listening to and praying for her and with her. The Lord cares about everything you both are walking through right now. Psalm 34:18 reminds us that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (NIV).

How can we help as the Church?

Who better to come alongside a new mother and walk with her through these dark days than a church family?

Often, we gather around expectant moms in the joyful celebration of the birth of a child, showering them with gifts, joy, and lots of advice. We squeeze the toes of the new baby and exclaim over its adorable smile.

The next time we find ourselves squeezing that chubby little foot, let’s shift our attention and ask mom how she is. And when she responds with a too bright, “Oh good!”, look her in the eye and ask her, “Is there anything I can do to help you today?” Ask her what is her favorite and her most overwhelming part of parenting.

For each woman, their struggle may be different depending on their circumstances. Let her voice her struggles. Pray with her. Love her. Invest in her. You don’t have to fix it, but you can listen. Often, just slowing down and asking questions and then pausing to listen will help a struggling mom.

Offer her real and tangible help: bring a meal, drop off flowers, write her an encouraging note reminding her that God chose her as the mother for this child, offer to sit with her child free of charge while she takes an uninterrupted shower or a nap, or offer to take her older children for the day to give them a fun adventure with you. Check in with her often, even in a text message. Avoid the urge to minimize the pain and struggle she is experiencing. And come with an understanding that this is not a spiritual crisis or a sign of a lack of faith, but a medical situation.

If you think she is dealing with postpartum depression, encourage her to see a physician. Even better, offer to go along and hold her baby during the appointment. Help her cling to God’s promises as she walks through this valley. Be the glimpse of Jesus’ love and care for her during these trials (Ephesians 5:1-2).

The information provided in this article is for educational purposes and is not meant as medical advice. It is the opinion of the writer. The information is not meant to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health professional.