Loss & Light: A mother's deeper faith after her child's cancer

Samaritan Ministries honors the sanctity of life—not just this month, but every month. As part of that commitment, we are sharing a special series called Loss & Light. These stories feature members who have walked through the deep sorrow of losing an infant or child. In the midst of their grief, they have chosen to glorify Christ, allowing His light to shine through their suffering.

Tyler Betz’s life was short but powerful.

Ten years ago, Samaritan Ministries members Jonathan and Lindsay Betz returned home to Colorado Springs, Colorado, from a family trip to Disney World when 5-year-old Tyler began having headaches and vomiting. A few weeks later, they learned from an MRI that he had a brain tumor.

But the family was optimistic.

“We actually had an excellent prognosis for this type of rare cancer,” Lindsay said. “It was a 90% cure rate.”

Balancing treatment and childhood

Tyler went through a treatment plan of six rounds of chemo and 30 days of radiation.

“We came into this whole broken and terrible experience with a very strong and intact faith,” she said. “But this was an activation of that faith and the equipping that God promises to give in amazing ways.”

Tyler still got to participate in most of kindergarten, and the family kept his older sister’s life as normal as possible.

The battle intensifies

Seven months after his diagnosis, the family heard the words “cancer free.”

“And then, unfortunately, for his type of cancer, it came back the fastest doctors had ever seen,” Lindsay said.

On their way home from a cancer retreat, he started showing new symptoms, including loss of his ability to walk. Unable to travel beyond St. Louis, he had an emergency MRI in the middle of the night. They discovered the cancer was back, and he was paralyzed from the waist down.

“Then, on my birthday that year, we were sitting with the oncologist, and the question was, ‘Are we going for cure or comfort?’” Lindsay said.

The couple learned to keep their hearts open to God’s sovereign will. That surrender became the theme of Tyler’s short but powerful life.

'Our tender-hearted warrior’

Lindsay describes Tyler as “full of life.” He was funny, 100% boy, joyful, saw the good stuff of life, and was also tender-hearted.

“We called him our tender-hearted warrior, and that’s really a beautiful picture of what he fully stepped into,” Lindsay said.

Tyler was always thinking of others, even handing out balloons after a party thrown for him by his church.

He was also wise, showing spiritual maturity beyond his years.

“He modeled what it means to surrender to God’s plan,” she said. “He fought the cancer, but he never fought his story.”

Though he didn’t complain, he did once tell his mom that he “really didn’t like cancer.”

“I said, ‘Buddy, nobody likes cancer. I would take this from you in a heartbeat if I could,’” she said. “He looked at me with this funny expression on his face like that was the dumbest idea ever and he said, ‘Mom, then you would have the cancer.’

“Tyler modeled submission to God in a powerful way—he steadfastly fought the cancer, yet he never fought the story God was writing through his life.”

His ultimate victory

Tyler passed away on October 7, 2016, nearly a year after his diagnosis. The Betz family received their healing story—one that’s upside down and backwards to what the world calls healing.

“We know that our son was in Christ when he died and therefore his death was his win. That was his ultimate victory,” Lindsay said.

“I know if Tyler was still here, I would be claiming God as healer, but it would be so earth-centered,” she added. “I do find that this is a message the Church needs to be better at—to know that when it comes to healing stories, God has a realm much larger than earth.”

'Grief has an expiration date’

In the years since Tyler’s passing, Lindsay has learned to trust God’s purpose in her grief and loss.

“There is a lot of healing that I did not expect on this side,” she said. “Because of Christ, grief has an expiration date.”

For Lindsay, that truth is the anchor that has carried her through every hard day, reminding her that Tyler’s story didn’t end in loss, but in ultimate victory.